Are we too young for couples counseling?

boyfriend and i have been togethr for 4 years


currently separated for 1 month


brokeup because he hit me PLUS we really did need a break


hes my first bf im his first gf


were both 20


im not running to get back together with him %26amp; dont wanna think about that for a a few more months ...like 6-8mnthz but if we did, we would need counseling for sure





is it worth it? or are we too young?Are we too young for couples counseling?
Jessy, don't.





You got rid of an abuser good for you, now look toward the future and to meet someone else, someone better.





Abusers don't change and those who do they do it later in life when they pass 50 and 60 and have had a life time of hurting people around them.





You started dating you were 16, you're now 20, you have grown into a young woman with different goals, aspirations, needs. This man does not suits you anymore.





Couples conselling are for people in a marriage, with children, houses, assets and they need to work their problems. When we're 20 and our boyfriend hit us, we leave him!Are we too young for couples counseling?
You are NEVER too young or too old for couples counseling. In all honesty, a man hitting me under any circumstances is grounds for termination of the relationship (same should hold true for a woman hitting a man). But if you want to give things a shot in counseling, I am very supportive of that. There is no magic in the ';I am his first girlfriend and he is my first boyfriend'; thing. I see way too many couples who think there is something sacred about being each other's ';first'; and that the relationship should be salvaged at all costs with that as a primary reason. It is not a reason at all, honey. Find a good counselor who specializes in couple counseling (yeah, we all have our specialties), do everything that the counselor recommends and see where things go from there. I wish you two well.
No, you're not too young, but think about it; guys that hit girls aren't very likely to just stop after a session with a therapist. It's hard to move on when it's been so long, and we women tend to create patterns when it comes to realationships that we have a hard time breaking, but be good to yourself. Find a guy that respects you and won't physically, or in any other way, hurt you. Too many girls get stuck in that cycle. It's really hard when you haven't ever been with anyone else, but that can also be a problem. Guys can get weirldy obsessed with their first kiss or first girlfriend - and it's not a good thing, and places the girl in a strange, dependent, one-sided relationship. This may be a good thing that it's ended, hun.
If he hit you, then that's the only significant issue in all this. That might be the part you are too young to see. And I'd agree that counseling is a good idea, but not couples counseling. He needs individual counseling to figure out why he has anger problems, and you need individual counseling to figure out why your self-esteem is so low that you got involved with someone like him in the first place, and why you'd even be thinking of the possibility of getting back with him.





I do think it's really smart of you to break it off, because many people don't. And suddenly it's 10 years later, they are battered and bruised, they have little kids who are totally disturbed and they're scared to walk out their front door.





You've taken the hardest step, so just keep looking forward to a future that doesn't include someone who would hit you. This never gets better over time - it gets much worse, and you will not be the exception to that rule.
They don't care how young you are to go to counseling. I actually know a married couple (who is just a few years older than you) who have a wonderful relationship but go to counseling just to keep it a wonderful relationship. However, why don't you try to find someone else instead maybe even someone better before you even try to make it work with him.
You are never too young for counseling but in this case just go your separate ways and be done with it. You are not married, you don't mention children, there is no reason to have to work this hard on your relationship.





It's been my personal experience that once a person crosses that line, and physically abuses their significant other, there is no going back. The abuse continues and it just gets worse over time. Forget about him and move on.
I read everything you wrote.


So what is the marriage/divorce question that you have?
He hit you, he'll do it again. Thank your lucky stars you're out of this mess.
Too young?!?!?!


Hon, they will take your money regardless age!





good luck