Do you think couples should try to work out upsets in their marriages; if so what are some of the best ways?

When you get married, you make a promise to stick with your spouse ';for better or worse';. Most married people these days seem to forget this promise almost immediately - and so divorces are almost as common as weddings in our society!! If you love each other well enough to get married in the first place, then you love each other well enough to do your VERY best to work things out when the ';worse'; part of ';for better or worse'; comes knocking. The key is open, complete communication - don't keep secrets from each other, confess when you have made mistakes and ask forgiveness, and be ready to grant forgiveness in turn, when presented with a sincere confession. Love CAN conquer all, but you have to give a chance to do so. Be aware, however, that complete forgiveness for something serious can take a while - so don't expect instant happiness after something nasty happens: it takes time and sometimes pretty hard emotional work, but it is worth it to save your marriage and have a loving life together.Do you think couples should try to work out upsets in their marriages; if so what are some of the best ways?
Yes, if the marriage is salvageable and no if there is abuse going on. What is actually wrong with your marriage? The number one cause of divorce is adultery. You promised to be with this person in good times and in bad. Is your word so carelessly given? Most adulterers have no desire to leave the marriage - so you need to work on this. The number two cause of divorce is addiction (gambling, sex, game, drugs, alcohol, etc.). This absolutely requires some kind of treatment. If the person with the addiction does not seek treatment, I can't see how you would save the marriage. The number 5 cause of divorce is inlaws. If you or spouse are unwilling to cut off your inlaws and/or move away to save your marriage, your marriage is going down the tubes.





The argument that communication is the key is almost a pop psychology thing. Communication IS an issue in marriage, but sometimes too much communication and not enough intimacy is what is wrong with the marriage. If I'm not getting sex (and I want it) all the yammering in the world isn't solving the problem with this marriage - it's the lack of sex. Anybody who says sex isn't an important part of marriage is living in a dream world.Do you think couples should try to work out upsets in their marriages; if so what are some of the best ways?
Yes. That's what people used to do. Now pretty much everyone gets a divorce. =/





I'm sorry I'm not married so I don't have any good examples but I have been with my boyfriend for a long time... When we have a big fight, of course we yell at each other but then we realize how immature we were acting and we try to talk about it. Always communicate. If you can tell that your spouse isn't really listening, don't open up to talk about it yet because it will just make you more upset. Take some time to cool off and when you're ready to solve it, make sure you talk it all out. Try to understand his side too. If you close out all of his opinions, he's going to do the same to yours. Good luck! :)
counseling


100 % honesty and truthfulness


Good will and friendship


TRUST


UNCONDITIONAL LOVE





and many more........





Most folks will have to stop and learn how to do these because they are not accustomed to behaving/thinking like that...especially the HONESTY part.


We are all taught to play little 'power - self defensive' games as children and those games make our marriages, etc. HELL!
You may need to find a Marriage/Family Counselor; I'd be sure to get one who is Bible Based. Your husband will not want to have a third party step in and help, but it may very well be necessary if the marriage is to be saved. If the problems aren't worked out then you'll only run into the same set of problems in your next r/s. It'll set off a chain of events (domino effect) that will continue again and again until you face up and deal with the problems. If your husband refuses to go with you for help, then go alone and at least get help for yourself and for the sake of any children you may have.


Remember, no one is prefect, you can't meet all of his needs, nor can he meet all of your needs. That's life, we have to change what we can and accept what can't be changed and get on with life.
of course thats what marriage is all about...u are with the same person everything single day...u are bound to fight no matter what....its like living with ur siblings..u love them but u always fight with them...if u love each other anything can be resolved...divorce is never the answer...its like a quick fix....just like losing weight u have to eat healthy and exercise not go under knife which is a quick fix...but never truly solves the problem...anyways, unless theres abuse in the relationship, or u feel no love...u cant work it out! but to answer ur question...u need to listen and be able to communicate try to solve the problem not add fuel to the fire...also haveing romantic dates and respect each other....screaming and yelling doesnt solve much..
Before the marriage, the most important thing to do is to choose well. I mean, if you marry someone who is a selfish, self-centered, cheating, abusive, drug addict jerk who doesn't treat you with friendship, trust and respect then the relationship is unlikely to turn into some sort of utopia post-marriage...regardless of how much counseling you have.





In my marriage, I let my husband be the leader of our family in every way. I support his decisions 100%. Now that doesn't mean that I am weak or that my husband does not know my opinion. Hardly! But if we have a difference of opinions, he makes the ultimate decision and I accept it. Because he does not feel like he is having a power struggle with me, he is more likely to find a solution that is win-win for both of us. And the few times that it is win for him and lose for me, I can accept because 90% of the time we both get what we want.





My husband and I also make a concentrated effort to focus on us and our relationship. Right now we are both super busy because of my step-daughter's sports schedule....she is an elite athlete. 'Nuff said. It's really stupid but there are some TV shows that we like and have set on the DVR. We will wait to watch them until the other one is home too so we can sit on the couch holding hands.





We solve problems when they are minor. Frequently I will give my husband a foot massage or a back rub. Those are the ideal times to talk about issues because we both are relaxed and in a mood to compromise and appreciate each other's point of view.





Also, we don't ';hit'; below the belt during arguments. It is easier to move past an argument if you don't say call each other names, say that you hate each other, etc. Frequently during an argument, we will say we love each other or stop to hug each other. Believe me, that is hard to do! But it keeps us grounded on us and our relationship instead of who should have watered the hanging plants yesterday.
No matter how bad the situation, (unless it is audultry), sitting down quietly, and discussing the problem is the best way to handle most marital problems. Don't yell, or blame each other. Listen to both sides of the problem calmly, and see if you can't find a resolution.
of course. If not then what was the point in saying those vows? Talking about it is the first step, counseling if you can't work it out on your own. Always make time for each other, and do for your spouse like you would have them do for you. Marriages take work....always.
Yes Set up some ground rules, No yelling, Act as adults, do not talk about things that happened before,Listen to each other,see there side It could be part our fault. If you cannot do these things take a time out.Marriage takes a lot of work
yes. what is the point of being married if the tiniest slight spells divorce? communication is usually a pretty good way to work out upsets in a marriage.
Yes through counseling.
yes and just talk about it.